You are in luck today. I am so wiped out from my merry wanderings around Chester (according to my fitbit I walked 6.5 miles! Take THAT, David Kolonay!) that you are getting what has to be the world's shortest blog post. I barely know my own name right now, let alone how to string a coherent sentence together. 

But lest this be a truly futile gesture of a post, here are two little gems to make your visit (slightly more) worthwhile:

1. This gorgeous food blog that my sister-in-law Lesley just shared, full of yummy-looking recipes and even better photography. 

2. This picture from Chester: 

Clearly Voldemort's house.

Fun fact: did you know it's technically still legal in Chester to shoot any Welshman found inside the city walls after midnight? AS LONG AS YOU USE A BOW AND ARROW.

I will leave you with that to think on. 

Big hugs and lots of love,

Essss

Oh, Engrand.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. - Howard Thurman

I'm going somewhere new tonight! I'm going to CHESTER! Youguys know Chester? It is way up north and left in England and was founded in, like, 79 ad. SEVENTY NINE AD. Like, nearly 2,000 years ago. I cannot even comprehend that age. Apparently it was a Roman fort and it was called - get this - Deva Victrix. Does that or does that not sound like a place that Voldemort would be living? I am spooked out already.

And all the main roads are named after gates because it's a medieval walled city. Northgate! Eastgate! Watergate! Apparently there's even a WOLF GATE. I cannot make this stuff up. And the city walls are still in place! I cannot count the number of times I've visited giant hunks of rock here in London labelled 'Remnants of the Old City Wall.' That is a ROCK, people, and I am trying HARD to get excited about it. But these Chester rocks are still intact! They are the most intact city walls in all of Britain! I am going to walk them, oh yes. I will pretend that I am surveying my domain, like it is the Red Keep and I am the imp. Or Margaery. It depends on how sexy I feel.*

Apparently there's also a GOBLIN TOWER. I KNOW. It's like I'm making all this happen with the power of my mind. I'm already at my peak-excitement-saturation-point and I will probably pass out in the hotel from the overstimulation of it all and wake up tomorrow afternoon just in time for the return train, caressing my map happily the entire journey home. 'Goblin Gate,' I'll murmur to myself while stroking my unwashed imp-hair.

This was taken in Yorkshire, which is way up north and right.

If anybody has any recommendations of Things I Must Do or See while I'm Not Napping in Chester tomorrow, please do pass them my way!

Big hugs and lots of love,
Essss

*The imp being me at my best.

Because Monday Deserves a Showcase

One must still have chaos within oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. - Nietzsche

Real World Confession: I am currently listening to the Pitch Perfect soundtrack on Spotify. Because I LIKE it. I like to think this is an upgrade from youtubing the riff-off, but I think we all know better.

Today let's talk about Things of Late That Have Given Me Joy (TOLTHGMJ, for short):

1. My sister has started her first blog! I am directing you to her first post because it's all about how awesome I am, so that's my favourite.

2. My friend Marie is assisting at a fashion shoot this week involving DOUGLAS BOOTH. Also quite possibly SAM CLAFLIN - you know, that shirtless guy from the Hunger Games? Finnick? THAT GUY. Needless to say, she's obviously going to be wearing her adult diapers. As am I, because I will be paying her the big bucks to take some illicit cell phone snaps when no one's looking.

3. Remember My Favourite College Roommate of All Time? She's officially NPR-endorsed AND performing at the Kennedy Center next month! Tom HANKS will be there, youguys. He is like the Douglas Booth of Amerka. Her career just continues to climb which means that it is ONLY a matter of time until I'm working on her Late Late Show.

4. Speaking of My Favourite College Roommate of All Time: remember her husband Kyle, the poet extraordinaire? He has recently shared this wonder of a Wordsworth. It will make your day.

5. And last but not least, this gift of gifts from The Annie:

And that concludes the day's list of brilliancy! It doesn't get better than this. 

Big hugs and lots of love,

Essss

Survival of the Fittest

YOUGUYS. We did it. We survived IKEA. We did not, however, build that bed at 9p.m. when we finally got home. We threw the mattress on the floor, covered it with the wrong-sized sheets (I was blind by the time we got to IKEA's linen section, heavens knows WHAT I got, also did you know all French pillows - and therefore pillowcases - are square, and flat sheets don't exist?), and crashed out with boxes of pizza on our stomachs and Gilmore Girls playing on the laptop. It was a day and a HALF.

Saturday was also a success*: much closer to home than Bordeaux's IKEA, Bergerac has an area that can best be described as Mueble Mile - furniture warehouse followed by appliance warehouse followed by cheesy home decor shop, over and over again. It was beautifully functional except EVERYTHING CLOSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. If you want to buy anything from 12:30 to 2:30, you are out of luck. So that was nice.  But before that closure, the kettle, toaster, and coffee grinder were won. THE STUFF OF SURVIVAL.

So we are getting there! Breakfast stools are in place, so now dining can occur at the kitchen island rather than the floor. A couch is had, thanks to Mueble Mile. Two lamps. That blasted built-at-last guest bed that I don't trust, because WHY ARE THERE EIGHT EXTRA SCREWS. By the time I noticed those - lounging around in their little plastic bag, looking all innocent - it was midnight and my hands were full of splinters and my back was screaming profanities, so EFF FIGURING THAT ONE OUT. THEY CANNOT BE IMPORTANT.**

That moment you hit a store's home office section, find the nearest chair on castors and have a spin session. Because you are on the brink of madness and this is the only answer.

Now I'm officially back in London-town, blogging from a laptop propped on my now-Thai-food-laden stomach, and already planning for the next adventure. Right after I finish burning these assembly instructions.

Big hugs and lots of love,
Essss

* I define these things loosely.
**You're welcome to the guest room whenever you like! 

Saturday, Bergerac-style

Youguys know what? I wrote this post on Wednesday. Remember Wednesday? Appliance Day? I had to write this earlier in the week because I knew I'd be out of town Friday through Sunday with no internet access and I have committed to posting every day and goshdarnit, internet or no internet, it shall be done.

Today's goal in France town is to get a refrigerator. No doubt at this moment a French salesman is getting frustrated at us because our French is appalling* and we think we're just going to carry a fridge off the showroom floor using our strapping backs and what's the problem? I probably have butter and cheese stored in the cellar and I'm hoping that's cool enough to survive. Then this afternoon we are having lunch with our builder. Did you know there's possibly a fireplace behind one of the living room walls? There is no way to confirm that, however, short of pulling the wall down. HERE WE GO, FRIENDS! The adventure begins.

In the absence of anything new until hopefully tomorrow, I leave you with this YouTube of fainting goats:

Big hugs and lots of love,

Essss

*I can only talk about apples.