Oh India. You would.

A cool girl I met through work last week shared with me her cool new interiors blog and in the process I was reminded that I too had a place to write things down and you know what? Ima do it. In particular, Ima talk about India. Mostly because I spent a good number of hours today processing those photos and so it seems relevant.

India was one of the many random and exciting places I had the good fortune to visit in 2013, for the wedding of a wonderful, wonderful couple who happened to have wonderful, wonderful friends. The cast of characters was composed of San Franciscans and New Yorkers and one rad Philadelphibian who were all laid-back, funny, and unnaturally good-looking. Everyone looked like the cast of a reality show that I want to watch.

On the left we have Ryan. Ladies, this man is single and ready to mingle, and always looks like he's stepped straight from the pages of Marina Monthly. Holla.  

Next is Meghan, hailing from Park Slope, Brooklyn. Meghan is unfailingly stylish and self-contained, has a wicked sense of humor, and you know right away she's cooler than you but she doesn't say it.

Then we have the Philadelphian, Jeremy. Jeremy was voted 'most likely to go to jail' by pretty much everyone ever. He had the energy, enthusiasm and type of thrill-seeking curiosity that opens doors (albeit at the risk of those also belonging to a jail cell). 

And on the right we have Lauren! We were friends back in SF (whoo!) as well as roommates in India and she was joint-voted 'the most positive person in the world' as well as 'most likely to bail Jeremy out of jail.' Both of these things are true and probably related. 

One of our first stops was the Gates of India in Mumbai. This is them. You could probably enjoy them just as well from the window of a moving car, although then you'd miss the crowds and people trying to sell you yarn-bracelets.

It also had boats, if you're into that.

This is our friend Peanut. Her friend Soybean latched on to Lauren, who exclaimed, 'Mine's not as cute!' Soybean also pawed at Lauren's purse, so we dropped her back in the box. We kept Peanut, though. Until the authorities caught up with us.

 We couldn't stay in one place for more than ten seconds without one of two things happening: first, someone pressing something into your hand 'for good price' or second, a line forming of people who want to take photos with you. Come ON, people. Our show is still on cable! 

I don't know why we attracted so much attention.

The beach. The hanging gardens. Hey! India!

On so many levels.

This market stall-lined pier led to a mosque-temple thing (research schmesearch), a destination that came with the added benefit of being Apurva-Approved. Here's how to determine if a location is AP-Okay: First ask the following questions. 1. Could it be remotely dangerous? 2. Do locals hang out there? 3. Is it nighttime? 4. Is it daytime? If you can answer 'yes' to any of the above, then the answer is 'Absolutely Not. What Are You THINKING?'

And now to the reason for the season: the happy couple! This is AP (of the approval-rating) and Cassandra, the glowing bride.

Let's talk about Indian weddings for a second. In particular, the bling. You can never be too bling. This is why Indian weddings are so awesome. Here is the set of bangles I got for the special day. I have to tell you, shopping for these is not the same as popping into a Claire's and throwing the glamour together. For starters, they measure your size. Bangles are meant to be so tight that you should feel like you're breaking your thumb to get them over your hand. If they slide right on, then they'll slide right off. They want them snug enough on the wrist that when you're dancing like the Bollywood star you were meant to be, those sparklers are in PLACE. Once they determine your size, they style them for you, arranging them lightning-fast into symmetrical patterns and then stringing them onto a small pole for your perusal. They should be worn in the exact order they're placed, or boy will you look the fool. 

And now some photos from the wedding day! (Well, one of the wedding days. It's a multi-layered affair. BLIIIIING!) 

The Indian Mafia approves.

This foxy lady is Christina! Another fine piece of New Yorker, she wisely abstained from our touring shenanigans and rocked out the red carpet at go-time. She was awesome at making things happen, so a very good person to keep close.

I could look at us all day. We are almost too good-looking.

I KNOW. It'll be airing on primetime soon.

Seriously, ladies. Single.

Then we headed to Goa! This was the leisure-part of the holiday, as there is little to do in Goa other than lie on the beach, love on some Kingfishers, and bask in the sun. Basically: heaven.

We also gained another San Franciscan! Check out that Hillary. Yum. (You can also see her here - she's so famous.) We also went to a spice farm! Because we're not total slackers. Ryan and Lauren tried their hand at tree-climbing and also we touched elephants. So, you know. There was that.

Maybe if I get around to it, I'll do a post soon with pics from Yorkshire that I took a year ago! I am on track, people.

Big love and lots of hugs,
Essss

I've got a picture in a storefront!

I hate to toot my own horn, but honestly that's not true at all and GUESS WHAT?! A photograph I've taken is in the window of a department store! I KNOW. I can pretty much retire now. Check this out:

I took that headshot of my boss because I'm so awesome and now it's in a window because my boss is so awesome and WE'RE ALL WINNERS!

Please do contact me if you too would like a department-store-window-worthy headshot. I'm just that good*.

Love and hugs,
Essss

*If by 'good' we mean 'lucky.' Luck is ALSO a skill.

On the Outer Hebrides and How to Take a Good Photo

Here is a photo process:

1. Take a million photos. Plus or minus a billion. Make these photos difficult to achieve: force whoever is driving to pull over as often as possible. Crawl in ditches. Climb a ridge. Scrape your knees. Wait until everyone you're with is bored and mildly irritated. Then take a half dozen more.

2. Upload the photos to your computer.

3. Immediately delete at least two-thirds. They're horrible. Temporarily consider throwing away your camera.

4. Resolve the following: no more taking photos of old things rusting in the grass. Fence posts. Beaches from ground level. Rocks. Birds. Picnic benches. Decide to throw away all nature calendars when you get home due to their bad influence.

5. Skim the remaining third. Flag the ones that may have potential. Your original 2000 photos should now number around 50.

6. Of the 50, take the ones that make you shrug and toss them.

7. Take the remaining two dozen photos that are left and put them on the internet even though you're still not sure because you can't tarry any longer get them UP.

8. Email your mom to tell her you've done it so she goes online and posts about how wonderful you are.

9. Now pat yourself on the back. You've done it! Totally worth it.


And now introducing....The Outer Hebrides! The Isles of Lewis and Harris, specifically, as enjoyed over a long weekend: 

The beaches of Harris. Except for the bottom right, which was taken at the outermost point of Great Bernera. Another pro tip: when you read about an old Iron Age home excavated on a blustery beach and it takes an hour of driving across wild landscapes, ridges, and a bridge to a mini-island to get to it, make sure you've got weary family in the car. It gives the whole experience a thrilling edge you may not get otherwise. There is all the chance in the world that when you leap out of the car 'just to get one shot!' they will leave you there.

These photos were taken on Stornoway Point. Ridge-climbing happened here. Pro tip: Don't climb the ridge. For one, the top looks a lot closer than it actually is. Also, it's marshy. Also, seagulls will scream and circle you while you're out there alone, sounding for all the world like braying dogs on the hunt.

Take as many bleak photos as possible. Later, when you're moodily scrapping hundreds of pictures, these are the ones that will feel relatable. 

Castles. Flags. You know.

Moody sunsets. You know.

These were taken on the drive home through Glencoe. It was vastly different from the winter perspective, which can be seen in a previous post. Glencoe spooks people because it has bad juju from some bloody history, but that just makes it all the better. You can just FEEL the screams at nightfall. * shudder of delight * 

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to email my mom. I've posted!

Big hugs and lots of love,

Essss

On White Walkers and the Survival of the Fittest

'Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"' - Jack Handey

I've started getting veg boxes in my local grocery delivery. I did it in part because it was good value but more because I like the element of surprise and the idea of cooking with food I wouldn't normally. I remember a girlfriend of mine back in San Francisco talking about her farmer's market veg box: 'It makes me cook new things because I don't want to waste anything. The other day I got loads of kale. Kale! I've never cooked with kale before. I sauteed it with cannellini beans. And I made kale chips! Kale chips with rosemary! When would I have ever made kale chips with rosemary before someone delivered a box to my door with kale in it that I had to use?'

I've always remembered this Adventures with Kale story and I fancied that someday I too would get a veg box delivered to my door and I would cook lovely new things, like chips made from crispy greens that I would then dip into freshly-mashed avocados in my volcanic-rock mortar bowl while my homemade ricotta is curdling away in the background.

So recently when my local delivery offered a veg box option, I jumped on it, fantasies of fresh, exciting produce dancing before me. And then I opened my first box. Potatoes. Onions. More potatoes. Broccoli. Carrots. A couple more potatoes. Leeks! There must be something wrong. Where's my kale? My savoy cabbage? My Jerusalem artichokes? WHERE ARE MY SEXY NEW VEGETABLES FOR ME TO MAKE SEXY NEW FOOD WITH??

And then I remembered where I live, and how delicious root veg is, and got on with it. So now I'm killing soups and risottos and I'd like ANYbody to question the Deep South way I cook anything leftover (namely, covered in brown sugar and roasted to oblivion, next to a slab of steak or fried chicken). Because dangit, Winter is Coming (and by that I mean, 'already here') and the Others are on their way.

Beyond the Wall.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Kitchen Sink risotto to stir and dragonglass to sharpen. I'll see you soon.

Big hugs and lots of love,
Essss

The Scottish Highlands and Not Much Else

I was going to do a proper blog post but then I realised I haven't watched the latest episode of Nashville yet, and that is clearly a priority. So instead I will post a bunch of photos of the Highlands that I took over the Christmas holiday and send you big hugs. Because hugs are like words, but better, because they're less work. 

Did you know you can cover Glencoe, the Highlands, Loch Ness, and Loch Fyne in two days? You can. And you should. Just not in the dead of winter. Brutal.

It's hard to see, but there's a train bridge in the distance background of bottom left picture. It's the one from the Harry Potter movies! You can actually hike to it, but it was torrentially raining when I took this photo and the wind was so fierce I could barely stand upright, so I decided that this view was good enough for me. The castle in the top left photo is Eilean Donan where Entrapment and a million other movies were filmed. (I should probably be relating these places to moments in history - 'This is where the Young Pretender made his first stand in 1745!' - but I don't know history the way I know movies so I'll just go ahead and continue to embarrass myself this way.) Bottom right: Glencoe from Skyfall! Some sort of brutal massacre happened here. You should google it because it's dark and bloody and violent like all good history stories, and also because I don't remember the details. 

 No movies filmed here.

The earth was so dark red and purple and orange it was unbelievable, really wild.

Braveheart was probably filmed here, because obviously.

And so concludes my history of northern Scotland! Stay tuned, I'll be covering Yorkshire soon! 

Big hugs and lots of love,

Essss

P.S. I'm currently playing with blogger's dynamic layouts and so far I think I like this one the best, but are my pictures too large? Are they taking years to load on your screen?